Monday, October 18, 2010

Embrace the now.

My four-year-old daughter was being silly (as usual), and she said, "When I'm your age..."
I didn't even hear the rest of what she said, because I realized that when she is my age, I'll be 74. About once a month, I have a panic attack -- did I wait too long to have kids? I was 34 when my girl was born. I have two lovely, charming children (mostly!), and I swear I draw on every ounce of experience and maturity I have to be the best parent I can be. I just don't think I was ready to be a parent any younger. So I have to accept the fact that there are trade-offs. I think I'm a much better person at almost 40 than I was at almost 30. I sure hope I'm even better at almost 50, etc. But I had a little heartbreak tonight when I realized that I might not be around to see my daughter reach those same milestones of 40, 50, 60. Well, I dang well better be here for her 40th. But shoot! It kind of makes me wish I hadn't waited so long. All I can do now is be here, present, for as much of my kids' lives as possible.
Also tonight, she said, "Mama, I want to be everywhere that you are!"
I promise to enjoy that while it lasts!
And to exercise more, and eat better... I need to stick around as long as possible.

1 comment:

  1. Just stopping by via Twitter.

    Don't fret to much about what 'may' be. You'll miss all the 'nows'. SO many memories and fun to be had.

    Plus, my hubbies great grandmother lived to be 103!! So you never know :-)

    Have a great day!