Wednesday, October 20, 2010

a rant on voice mail

Voicemail. Let's review:
You call me up, but I don't answer. You spend... oh, let's say 45 seconds leaving me a message. That is, of course, after having to listen to me saying, "Hi, this is Krista, this is the socially accepted amount of time for me to leave an outgoing message, any shorter and you'd think I was rude. Thanks!"
Back to your message.
So you talk for, say, 45 seconds. If I'm lucky. More likely, you identify yourself, recite your phone number (usually too quickly, but whatevs), state where you are calling from, and why you think your band should be hired by me to play at the zoo. I mean, why you are calling. (sorry, half of my calls are from prospective bands. The other half are from prospective vendors. The other half are from people wanting free tickets to the zoo. The other half... wait... Nobody told me there'd be math!)
Back to your voicemail message.
You say your:
Name
Phone number (spoken quickly)
Where you're calling from
Reason you're calling.
"please call me back"
(and this is the part that KILLS me)
"Once again, here's m y  n a m e, phonenumber, r e a s o n  w h y   I' m  c a l l i n g . "
Why the repetition??
So I then have to listen to your voicemail. And then play it back 2-3 times because the one part you talked fast during was your phone number.
All in all, it takes me 5 minutes to listen to and WRITE DOWN your voicemail message. That should have only taken 30 seconds. And then I still have to call you back... and probably get your voicemail.
It's insane.
BUT PEOPLE... if we'd just lose voicemail, think of all the frustration we could avoid.  Let's kill voicemail! You want something from me? Great -- put it in an email, and I have it in writing. You want to tell me something? I'm all ears... I mean eyes. Put it in writing, please.

You want to tell me you love me? AWESOME! If you can't tell me person, by all means -- leave me a voicemail. I'll make an exception for you.

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